We can all understand that male sexual impotence is a sensitive topic that should always be handled with care and tact. If you would like to approach your partner about this topic, but aren’t quite sure how to broach the subject, here are a few tips to get you started.
1. Define what you want from your relationship. Think about your relationship and define to yourself what you want, and what seems to be missing from the relationship. For instance, if you feel you would like more intimacy in the relationship, be honest about it with your partner. Define these things in clear sentences that are non-confrontational in nature. Be specific when you define what you want. Don’t simply say, “something is missing” from the relationship. Figure out what it is, and be prepared to state it openly to your partner.
2. Once you have defined what you need from the relationship, translate these things into concrete actions. Be prepared to back up your statements about what you need from the relationship with specific suggestions. If you feel you need more intimacy with your partner, tell him precisely how you would feel more intimate. For instance, let him know that you need to be hugged and kissed when reunited after a long workday. Giving your partner specific requests can help dissolve the vagueness and ambivalence that are often conveyed by couples as they strive to communicate their true feelings. In other words, be specific about what you want from your partner, and give him suggestions and requests. Don’t hint around in hopes that your partner will pick up on vague signals.
3. Find the right time and place to communicate your feelings with your partner. Deciding when and where to speak with your partner is important. You want to find a space and time when neither of you is feeling rushed. Avoid putting your partner on the spot. Find a quiet, private place and speak to your partner with caring, honest and tactful words. Always remain positive about the matter. Avoid discussing what is “wrong” with the relationship. Instead, offer up positive suggestions and be forthcoming about your feelings. Remind your partner that you both share responsibility for sexual intimacy problems.
4. If you are anxious about speaking with your partner, take the time to rehearse what you are going to say to him. Practice non-judgmental and honest statements about your relationship. Make “I feel” statements that avoid placing blame on either partner. Try to anticipate your partner’s reaction and be prepared to provide solutions and responses to his concerns and questions. If you think it will help you prepare, write down what you intend to say in the form of a script.
5. Avoid escalation of conflict and be prepared to diffuse a difficult encounter. Unfortunately, there always exists the possibility that your partner may feel threatened, accused, or embarrassed about the topic of sexual impotency. Be prepared to diffuse the situation by reminding your partner that you both share the responsibility for maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual life.